As of September 1, we will become residents of Orange County, California. The plan for the Save My Cents to move to Orange County, California had actually been in motion for years. I may have dropped hints about it here and there, but the main barrier was my job – I needed to get a job that allowed for the move. After a grueling 3 month job search I landed a fantastic, fully remote job in November 2021, and that’s when we started planning for serious.
The secret to having low(er) childcare costs is to live near grandparents
In the old days (yes I make myself sound old), families were closer together geographically. And everyone could help each other. Grandparents helped with grandkids. Children help take care of elderly parents. With the difficulty of dealing with pandemic rules in NYC, more than ever I wanted reliable babysitters I could ask last minute, and my in laws are fully retired at this point. And maybe in the future after we hash everything out, we can support their retirement (they’re short about $2,000 a month) in exchange for them to help with the kids more full time.
Daycare costs in NYC are equivalent to a salary
I have great things to say about my NYC daycare. They have taken really, really good care of BB for the last 1.5 years. However, the cost is astronomical – we are paying around $3,200 a month. Most of that is not going to the teachers – it’s the rent that the daycare is in. We found a great religious school for BB in California that is about $1,000 a month, and similarly, there’s a church-based daycare we can enter DD into, also for about $1,000 a month, which I plan to use after my maternity leave. The education would still be just as high quality.
Mr. Savemycents always needed to be in California
I’m not that picky or tied to a place emotionally. After all, I moved 10 times before the age of 10. My husband grew up in Orange County, CA all his life and needs his Vitamin Sea. He always said we’d return. His mental health vastly improves when he is near family and in California (for me, no difference).
No thanks to policies that have ruined Manhattan’s safety
Ever since 2019, I have personally witnessed, and the data backs me up, drastic increases in violence everywhere in Manhattan. I now carry pepper spray. Violent, mentally ill people are everywhere on the streets, and you don’t know when you’d get assaulted. Every day, I hear stories of friends being assaulted. I don’t go out at night alone anymore. I fear taking the subway. This is not a palatable place to raise children anymore. The Bloomberg governed city that I loved, has been ruined by the bad policies that allow criminals to basically walk without bail unless they murder someone. At the same time, the political attitude of the most vocal people in the city has led to a lot less respect for the hardworking men and women of the NYPD. And unlike San Francisco, we cannot recall our DA. Every day, I see news reports of violent people who committed violent crimes, were caught or even turned themselves in, and then released without bail. NYPD are quitting in droves.
Mainstream media, such as the New York Times, pays little attention to reporting on this. If you read the NYT it seems as if everything is flowery. I read the NY Post – once a laughing stock of media – to get the real on the ground news of what happens in my city.
Look, I am all for justice – including violent criminals being jailed. If you cannot have lawful conduct and safety, then why live in this place?
This is not the same NYC I moved here for in 2013. In 2013, violent, mentally ill people were taken to shelters. I could go out at night alone without fear. I never carried pepper spray. I didn’t have to debate which side of the street to walk on to ensure that I wouldn’t get attacked. I could read my phone on the street and not fear someone hitting my head.
The DOE and Department of Health has made many choices during pandemic that show they do not care about the children
It was not until late spring 2022 when BB finally no longer had to wear a mask at daycare. This was months after the European WHO had said masks in young children are not statistically helpful with COVID-19. This is after psychiatrists sounding the alarm of a massive rise in mental health issues among children. This is after me seeing posts daily in my local FB community of mothers desperate to find mental health treatment for their children – some as young as 4 – when this would be a rare occurrence in 2019. This is after seeing my own son struggle with developing his speaking capabilities while being in a mask all day. The long term effects of COVID-19 are far, far fewer and less, than the long term effects of poor mental health and delayed childhood development. I know this because I grew up with poor health. My parents placed my education and mental development first. I am very thankful for that. A strong mind can help carry a weak body.
Life is risky. I get that. I pick and choose which risks I wish to accept. I would rather pick mental health, than the very small risk of long term disease for my child.
To escape this, private school in NYC would cost $50K all-in a year, whereas private school in CA would be around $15-20K. In addition, the American public school system of today is a far cry from the public school system of when I grew up in Massachusetts. I don’t recognize it. It does not care about the children – not really. It is corrupt and has our politicians eating from the palm of the unions’ hands. And I don’t want to deal with it.
We desire a community where people don’t leave every 10 years
If you stay in Manhattan long enough, your entire friendship group changes every 10 years. It’s a very transient city, and I have seen during COVID-19, the acceleration of almost every family with a child leaving the city. I have no mommy groups to hang out with. I have few friends left here. People here hustle and work too many hours to be seeing each other regularly. I want friends that I don’t need 1 month’s notice to see. I want to be able to host weekly Shabbat dinners. I want to be able to not feel like a friend’s work life trumps caring about each other. The more suburban pace of Orange County will help with that.
I will miss NYC a lot, but there’s always time for me to come back and visit. And maybe one day, a Bloomberg 2 will step in and fix things up.
