A couple years ago I came to the conclusion that it was very unlikely I would be a working mother in the first years of my children’s existence. Not in the United States.
The lack of subsidized childcare, the high costs of a nanny, my own preference for rearing children with a very specific set of values, and some heavy discussions with my spouse led us to conclude that a career is not worth having weak relationships at home. Both of us decided that there’s a high possibility we’d have to step out of the rat race, but we knew that at least in the very first few years, the burden would fall on me. I still wish that workplaces could be friendlier towards working moms, but I don’t think it will likely work out in my favor.
We decided that we would always try to live off the lower of our two incomes to be prepared to become a single income family at any time. We also had some pretty big (aka expensive) dreams. We wanted to own a home in Manhattan. We wanted to have enough savings to retire for a long life. We wanted to help our future children with education. We wanted to help our parents. All our hopes and desires would add up to something in the neighborhood of $3-5M in savings per person over our lifetime. All these goals are long-term and require a lifetime of discipline on above average salaries.
Our decision upended my entire approach to life. I grew up in an upper middle class family. I spent money with the expectation I’d enter a double 6-digit income marriage. My successful Harvard peers spent similarly. I thought I was already responsible because I knew how to invest for retirement and maintained budgeting and didn’t indulge in too many extravagances, but even so, I couldn’t meet a single income budget without essentially moving my lifestyle to match that of a different socioeconomic status. In addition, how do I face myself when all my life I worked to be successful in worldly terms? How will I maintain friendships with friends for whom attending far flung weddings is not a financial struggle wracked with guilt? I needed a paradigm shift. My pride had to be swallowed.
It was during this time when I began sharing my journey. In person, online, I felt like I had to explain myself. I wanted support, affirmation. I was a bit whiny, and I also acknowledge that I am luckier than most people. Beyond that, I sought others who shared this sense of frugality and simplicity. What I found was stories of many people who did not know what it takes to retire. I found out about stories of people being burdened by years and years of college debt. I started helping people figure out what would make sense for their own financial situation, and how to make simple but radical steps to become financially independent. People who came from families where financial literacy was not a concept. People whose emotions and self-worth are tied to their approach to money. It inspired me to help even more, to give back my knowledge, so that we can all achieve happier lives.
With that, the idea for Save My Cents was born. My hope for this website is to educate others in very simple terms what I’ve learned in my personal finance journey. Maybe I’ve been lucky most of my life, but I don’t count on it going forward, and I hope that my conservative method can be something that helps others get out of really hard situations. Money doesn’t have to be a four letter word or a taboo subject. It can be used for real good, but it is also something that can easily become an enemy when not accounted for. I invite you on this journey together. If you’re interested in reading future posts – several of which will be password protected, please join my Facebook group. I’m excited!
